Football Ramble

Better to have loved and Klopped than never to have Klopped at all. On the weekend of his last game, Marcus, Luke and Andy assess Jurgen Klopp’s impact on the Premier League. Should he have won more t...

Warning: no Premier League CEOs were egged in the making of this podcast.
Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete preview the final weekend of the Premier League season! Can David Moyes spoil the party in Manches...

Who is England’s left back for the Euros? And more importantly: who is the team’s official psychic medium? Derren Brown, it’s time to step up.
Marcus and Luke are back with another Lions Watch – and w...

And Erik ten Hag goes all Phil Brown in his sweaty three-piece! Pete and Andy are here to react to Man United’s victory over their also very, VERY tired 7th-spot rivals. But what a game they treated u...

We all know what happens when Man City reach the business end of the season: Pep activates his magic pump, slips Man City into 5th gear and the rest is history. Today, Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish are ...

Tom Hanks, David Cameron, Michael Portillo, Alan Pardew, Prince William, Chris Eubank and David James all feature on this edition of Ramble Reacts! You wouldn’t have thought Aston Villa and Liverpool ...

It’s all going down to the final day. Fulham’s kite training didn’t work after all. 
Marcus, Jim, Vish and Andy wave farewell to Burnley and Luton Town, who exited the Premier League more quickly than...

Harry Kane has gone another season without winning a trophy. Today, Marcus tries to convince Luke and Jim that a trophyless career wouldn’t tarnish Kane’s legacy - he’s always been a romantic, has our...

It was heartbreak for Aston Villa last night – but at least Matty Cash isn’t in the throes of a zombie apocalypse.
Marcus, Luke, Jim and Andy reflect on Olympiacos’ ascent to Mount Olympus with the Eu...

Marcus and Luke are back with the second edition of Lions Watch before Euro 2024! This week, they react to the news that a creaky Harry Maguire might be even more creaky come June: that’s because he r...

Real Madrid did it AGAIN! They beat Bayern Munich 2-1 and it was all thanks to that man Joselu. Well, and Manuel Neuer’s slippery hands.
Marcus and Vish react to a vintage Champions League semi-final ...

Marcus Speller’s Aunty is giddy: an Englishman is going to win the Champions League! He’s joined by Luke, Andy and Vish to celebrate Dortmund returning to Wembley for a Champions League final and try ...

Found out. Finished podcast. Marcus, Jim and Vish are frauds.
We’re back to look over a jam-packed weekend! Ipswich are back in the Premier League, while Jamie Vardy’s daughter tells 30,000 people to ...

Are penalties really a lottery? Is it harder to play against 10 men? Should a goalkeeper never be beaten at their near post? Today, Marcus, Jim and Vish are on hand to debunk some of the biggest myths...

Vish has always said this: Australians are unpredictable. You simply do not know where you stand with ‘em.
And that was the same for most of Spurs’ XI last night in yet another defeat at Stamford Brid...

The road to Euro 2024 starts TODAY! Marcus and Luke are back with their third ever series of Lions Watch, where you’ll find everything you need to know about the England men’s national team – and plen...

An old money derby in the Champions League semi-final, it doesn’t get more grand than that, eh? Today, Marcus, Jim, Vish and Andy are here to speculate what Jude Bellingham said to Harry Kane and anal...

Boo? Yeah, boo. Luke was amongst the confused boo boys at Spurs yesterday after a first half full of promise and a second half full of Cristian Romero taking matters into his own hands left them point...

The Premier League is the biggest cash cow in football – for better and for worse. So how can a spending cap work? A listener asks Marcus, Luke and Andy about the ripple effects – plus, favourite stad...

Did anyone see Kyle Walker lay an egg last night? Well, Jim Campbell did and he tells Marcus, Luke and Andy why he thinks it’s a good omen for Arsenal.
Elsewhere, we ask: was Man City’s win so comfort...

Come and join all the Ramblers at The London Palladium on Friday 20th September for a live show unlike any other. Tickets are now on general sale – click here to get yours or search ‘footballrambleliv...

As Liverpool found out, all the romantic farewell narrative in the world can’t stop a freshly tracksuit-bottomed Sean Dyche delivering a hammer blow to your title chances. And what a performance from ...

“We’ve just beat Chelsea 5-0. Shall we take this upstairs?” Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish react to a demolition job at the Emirates and some extremely intimate celebrations for the Arsenal fans.
Elsewhe...

Marcus is calling for more corruption from officials after VAR correctly ruled out Coventry’s winner against Man United. At least the result means Erik ten Hag might keep his Job. So there is somethin...

For the first time in five long years, the Football Ramble is back on the stage!
On Friday 20th September 2024, we’re performing a very special show at the London Palladium. And we want YOU to join us...

Pep Guardiola arrived at Manchester City almost 8 years ago. A reign that started with sacking Joe Hart has turned into one the most impactful managerial careers in Premier League history. Today, Marc...

Shhh of course we knew that yellow cards don’t carry over to a penalty shootout! In Emi Martinez we trust.
Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete catch up after last night’s European frolickings and then realise...

How about them plucky underdogs Real Madrid, eh? Marcus and Vish are on hand to react to a disastrous evening in Europe for the English sides.
On a night which saw Erling Haaland subbed before extra t...

Barcelona may have lost the tie last night, but have they won the war to become the Champions League’s next banter club? Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish are here to review a night of Champos action ...

What’s that noise? Is that the sound of Euro-trash floating from Lineker’s Bar? That’s right, Pete thinks it’s official: Jack Grealish is already planing his post-title win sesh.
Marcus, Jim and Pete ...

Marcus, Andy and Pete text an anonymous burner phone and get a fresh batch of listener questions delivered to the studio - and there are some crackers!
We wonder if a Premier League game could - and s...

Was last night Jürgen Klopp's final European game at Anfield? If so it didn't end well. Today, Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to remind Klopp that going out of the Europa League would at least mean he...

Also, Xavi was wearing Stone Island on the touchline, so we can only assume he and his XL bully were waiting for Luis Enrique in the carpark.
Marcus and Jim look back on two entertaining Champions Lea...

How about that football, eh? Last night’s Champions League action was so good that Andy has decided he needs to get a second big telly to watch all the barns burn at once.
Marcus, Jim, Vish and Andy r...

Did you know that if you’re a Tottenham player you can punch a Nottingham Forest player on a Sunday afternoon without punishment? Today Marcus, Luke and Jim applaud James Maddison’s knowledge and appl...

Marcus, Luke and Jim are back in Correspondence Corner tackling some more of your cracking questions!
We start with an interesting one: in the age of mass media coverage and scrabbling for social medi...

What… on EARTH was that?! Marcus, Luke and Jim recap Cole Palmer 4-3 Moments FC, where perhaps the biggest takeaway from one of the most ridiculous games you’ll ever see was: you’ve got to feel sorry ...

Marcus didn’t think he’d ever make this comparison but… Phil Foden went full-blown Wayne Rooney against Aston Villa! It was a stunning hat-trick. But what were Villa doing leaving the serving hatch of...

Marcus, Luke and Jim dive into yet more Barclays action, as a gloriously violent cameo from Newcastle's Paul Dummett gave Everton some much-needed points. Generous, innit.
Elsewhere, journalists conti...

Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete return after Man City 0-0 Arsenal to find the barn very much intact. Wasn’t even remotely burned. Pep Guardiola still found plenty to be angry about, of course.
Luckily the...

Luke, Jim and Vish kick off proceedings with an intriguing question about this season’s incredible title race: for which manager would winning the league be the biggest achievement?
Plus, we’re buildi...

Three things we didn’t expect in the studio today: a hammer, Sean Connery, and loads of Wellman supplements after Pete played table tennis against David Gandy. It can only be Preview Show time!
Pete, ...

Back in November Marcus and Luke picked their England starting XI for Euro 2024. Four months and a lot of football later it’s now time for the lads to re-visit their selections. Are they still startin...

Marcus, Andy, Luke and Vish are here with some consoling words for our Welsh brethren, after their Euros journey fell at the final hurdle last night. Here’s hoping they triumph in their next Penalty C...

England may have lost to Brazil but you can’t create the feelgood factor without having a bad moment first, right? Today, Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete hold onto that hope and book Kobbie Mainoo a seat o...

The narrative that has been created around Southgate is one of squandered opportunities and an inability to match tactics against the elite in Europe. Is that fair? Would a penalty shootout win agains...

It’s international week! Marcus, Andy, Vish and Jim leave the boffins behind for Anthony Hopkins and Robbie Savage giving Wales’ next team-talk, Matt Berry giving England’s next team-talk, and a heart...

As a special Thursday treat, we're bringing you this week's Patreon-exclusive edition of Ramble Uncut! Luke reveals what happened when a man donned a Santa costume to calm down a group of angry Celtic...

Kobbie Mainoo is the latest addition to Gareth’s Governors so naturally, Marcus is swinging from the chandelier. Before that however, the boffins at the Premier League are forcing Marcus, Luke, Jim an...

Vish is on the pod, Vish is on the pod!! Today, Pete celebrated the return of the man of the bat by going through his old tweets. Concerning…
Elsewhere, Luke tells Marcus, Vish and Pete that he thinks...

Are Arcade Fire bigger than Arsenal? Are Hula Hoops bigger than Man City? Should you play without a goalkeeper? How many defenders do you really need at a corner?
Just a small sample of the questions ...

Marcus, Luke and Jim whizz round the best moments from last night’s European Battle of the Banter, as plenty of English sides impressed and Anthony Taylor delivered the best mugging off you’ll ever se...

Arsenal’s penalty shootout win over Porto was so exhilarating that even the crowd were exhausted at the end - so how do you think a 41 year-old Pepe felt?
Marcus, Jim, Pete and Andy breakdown the game...

Chelsea delivered a huge blow to Newcastle’s ambitions for the rest of the season – and a huge blow to Andy Brassell’s hopes of watching them play the runners-up from the Slovenian top-flight next sea...

What a weekend in the Prem! And after all the controversy, Pete has a brand new innovation for refereeing. Introducing… The No Context Man, sponsored by Ronseal!
Unlike Andy Townsend, Pete, Andy and J...

Jim, Andy and Rhythmic Pete Donaldson are back with another rummage in the postbag, addressing listener questions and problems with the poise and dignity you’ve come to expect.
We start by wondering w...

Pete, Andy and Jim run the rule over last night’s European action – and then turn to the big one, Liverpool vs Man City, Klopp vs Pep, Trent vs… Haaland.
The lads discuss that particular war of words ...

The Champions League is back! Marcus, Jim, Andy and Pete run the rule over last night’s clashes, which proved that all you need for European success is a couple of brave English boys and King Kylian.
...

On a bruising night for Sheffield United, Marcus and Andy pick apart their season and whether it was always destined to end this way.
They also rub their hands over what looks to be the most exciting ...

Mark Clattenburg is banging on the door of the studio asking for answers, but we just about managed to keep him out and record a brand new Ramble!
Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete discuss controversy at the...

What are the characteristics of a great derby? Are half and half scarves REALLY that bad? Do we criticise refs too much? Who are the most unexpected famous fans of our clubs?
Marcus, Luke and Andy hav...

It’s Manchester derby weekend! And there’s one question on everyone’s lips here at the Ramble: will a pie be thrown?
Marcus, Luke and Andy talk about those stunning scenes at the Edinburgh derby and a...

We have our FA Cup quarter-final lineup! And – oh no – Pete sees who Newcastle have drawn while recording the show. But which better Ramble shoulder to cry on than Luke’s?
Pete and Luke reflect on a l...

After last night’s FA Cup action, we’re one step closer to Pete spending a load of money so he can watch Newcastle lose to Man City at Wembley. Today, Marcus, Pete, Jim and Andy take a moment to enjoy...

Jarrod Bowen scored his first senior hat-trick and, in an amazing turn of events, it’s got Andy waving the Bowen for England flag harder than Marcus! Probably because he’s too busy waving his Neal Mau...

The only thing grottier than the Carabao Cup trophy after John Terry’s done with it? Pete’s mind, obviously.
Marcus, Jim and Pete are back for your ultimate Carabao Cup final review! We hurl a few lem...

Head to patreon.com/footballramble for more of this every single Wednesday!
Each Wednesday, our Patreon subscribers get an extended edition of the Football Ramble for their ears only. So today, we tho...

Earlier this week, Luke made the point that supporting a struggling Premier League club is worse than people realise. So today, he’s joined by Marcus and Andy to get their views on whether life is rea...

It’s the big one! The Carabao Cup final, where Chelsea will be fighting for not only a tenth of the amount of money you need to make Liam Gallagher to go away, but also the prestigious honour of being...

It was unfortunately business as usual for Arsenal on their return to the Champions League knockouts, after their last-minute loss to Porto. But, what did you expect from Pepe n’ co?
Marcus and Jim re...

Believe it or not there was some Premier League action last night, even if Jim did have to take the train to France to watch it on TV. Today, Luke and Jim are joined by Pete who’s in the chair to do a...

For perhaps the final time, Roy Hodgson leaves the managerial arena. And what more fitting tribute to his career than being mentioned in the same breath as Steve Bruce hustling for the South Korea job...

Did Harry Styles eat some Trebor Mints extracted from Sammy Lee’s arsehole, will Ross Barkley be made the sheriff of Luton, and is it a good idea for footballers to get their shins lengthened? 
Pete, ...

With Roy Hodgson’s time at Crystal Palace seemingly drawing to a close, is this the end for the traditional firefighter manager? Marcus, Jim and Andy debate that on today’s Mailbag.
Elsewhere, Andy ex...

Marcus, Jim, Andy and Pete are back in the Ramble ring! But it’s a sad day, really. Jürgen Klinsmann has been sacked by South Korea! Insert crying emoji on Zoom.
As well as waving farewell to Klinsman...

Things most of us predicted last night: a dominant Man City win. Things only Nigel Clough predicted last night: Mansfield Town beating Harrogate Town 9-2. And guess what? Harrogate didn't get a single...

It’s all going wrong for Crystal Palace, should they employ Andy Brassell as gaffer until the end of the season? Luke and Andy are here to discuss why Palace may need an interim solution to their mana...

Ivory Coast won AFCON! Managerless, thrashed by Equatorial Guinea earlier in the tournament, and with Sebastien Haller grabbing the winner after overcoming cancer barely 12 months ago, last night real...

The jury is still out on whether the new Champions League format will be a success. Can Marcus, Luke and Pete design a better competition? They try their best on today’s Mailbag.
After that, the Rambl...

Luke and Pete are delighted to hear that Marcus has eschewed some spicy matches this weekend and instead opened the show with news of England’s 2024/25 Nations League opponents. Get the bunting up!
We...

On today's Ramble, Marcus gets ready to celebrate England winning a World Cup, Jim talks about Nathan Jones, Andy talks about watching Arturo Vidal at Bayer Leverkusen...
And Pete compares Neil Warnoc...

Wait, what’s that rumble? Is it Manchester City galloping towards the front of the title race? Or Pete’s belly after eating that remaining half of Christmas panettone?
Pete and Andy are back to react ...

One last job, Ramblers. One last job for Neil Warnock AND Jose Mourinho?! We cannot believe our luck.
Marcus, Luke and Jim look back on an epic weekend of Premier League football that saw a whopping 4...

As the dust still settles on Jürgen Klopp's surprise announcement last week, one listener had a big question for us today: just how important are managers? Today, Marcus, Luke and Jim debate whether t...

An ice museum. An erotic museum. Easy access to suits in Gangnam. What more could Jesse Lingard possibly want in Seoul? 
Pete tells Marcus, Luke and Jim all about the wonders the city has to offer aft...

Luke and Pete are here and they are discussing the approved materials for goalposts following Darwin Nunez’s record-breaking performance last night. Cheesy Wotsits anyone?
On top of that, they fear fo...

Tom Lockyer returns to Kenilworth Road and Luton score two goals in the first two minutes. Coincidence? Marcus, Andy, Jim and Pete think not!
Today, the Ramblers gather after an evening of Premier Lea...

The Maidstone United fairytale continues! Marcus, Luke and Jim shake off their Belfast hangover to look back on the FA Cup fourth round, where The Stones marched on (or rolled in one fan’s case), Erik...

Has Everton’s point deductions made clubs scared to spend money in January? Does Harry Kane leaving Spurs explain their upturn in form? And which former footballer has a Ramble listener sat next to at...

Jürgen Klopp has announced that this will be his final season as Liverpool manager. What’s going on?! Will he join Germany after the Euros? Is Xabi Alonso the heir to his throne? And do you know Klopp...

The FA Cup returns! Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim bring you more heartwarming tales from the football world – from former Wolves stalwart Jonny smashing up TVs, to Antony doing circles in a Saudi Arabian...

Marcus has arrived, wind-swept and heartbroken, from Craven Cottage ready to record a Ramble Reacts with his old pal Andy Brassell.
Despite the result, Marcus tells Andy why Issa Diop’s goal was one o...

Marcus, Jim, Pete and Andy pick through the wreckage of Chelsea’s demolition job on a spirited Middlesbrough - a club that Pete regards with an almost insulting level of indifference.
Elsewhere, we ch...

Marcus and Luke wade through thin South Coast gruel after Wolves left Brighton with a decent goalless draw. Gag O’Neil was certainly happy, anyway.
We also tip our hats to James Milner who continues t...

Fire up the PGMOL paper shredder, it’s another action-packed weekend in the Premier League! Marcus, Luke, Pete and Jim are here to pick up the pieces.
We discuss Ivan Toney’s free-kick shenanigans, th...

Social media has just become an accepted part of modern football, but is it really a good thing and does it actually make you feel closer to your club? Marcus, Jim and Vish debate that on today’s Mail...

A message for Forest Green Rovers: Pete Donaldson is available for the dugout. Please find our reference in the following episode…
Marcus, Vish and Jim look ahead to the weekend, with some innovative ...

Jordan Henderson pulling out of Saudi Arabia? After six months? Completely unpaid?! Fire up the Ramble Reacts…
Pete and Andy discuss two important victories for the two Premier League clubs in the doc...

A big cupset in the FA Cup 3rd Round! Today, Marcus confirms to Luke, Vish and Jim that he is now a Moyes Out man after West Ham crashed out to Bristol City last night. He did take EastEnders off air ...

Pete is back on the pod! And he’s back with a bang. Or a crack, actually…
He joins Marcus and Vish to discuss Kevin De Bruyne’s terrifying (and luscious) return to the Premier League, unwelcome news a...

Football Ramble

Latest episodes

Mailbag: What is Jürgen Klopp’s Premier League legacy?

The Preview Show: Goblins and eggs

Lions Watch: No Shaw thing

Ramble Reacts: Man United and Newcastle embrace the chaos!

Pep’s magic pump

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